


Can't Have Your Cake and Eat it Too...

by RubberDucky24



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-01-08 11:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubberDucky24/pseuds/RubberDucky24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn had alaways been able to run to Harry for anything. When he started going to Harry because Perrie was cheating on him of course Harry let him in with open arms. What Zayn didn't realize is that he was slowly breaking his best friends heart. He couldn't see how much Harry loved him. Or he didn't want to see it. Perrie was everything to him and Harry well he was everything too. </p><p>But as the old saying goes, "you can't have your cake and eat it too".</p><p>**Liam and Louis are sickenly in love, Niall and Cher are enemies who really just want to shag each other.**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You can't expect me to be fine...

**Author's Note:**

> This does not reflect on Zayn and Perries relationship now. Congrats to them! But I liked this idea and I like the first Chapter so I hope you like it too. Comments and such are sooo welcome! Enjoy!

Zayn climbed into Harry’s bed without a sound. He didn't even want to acknowledge his presence, maybe if he didn't it wouldn't hurt. But it did. He felt Zayn running his fingers through his hair and he couldn't take it. This is all he was for him; a warm bed to sleep in when his girlfriend was off fucking someone else. 

The first time this happened he didn't know what to do. Zayn had showed up at his doorstop tears rushing down his face. His eyes were puffy and red, his face flushed of all color. This wasn't like him. His normally beautiful golden hazel eyes were now a dull chocolate filled with sadness. He came home early to surprise her but she surprised him instead. She was in bed with another man, but instead of storming in there and beating the crap out of the guy and throwing her out...he left. He'd found himself at his best friend’s house at 2am crying. Harry led him inside and up to his room. Instead of talking he just wanted to lay there with his best friend cradling his head in his lap running his fingers through his hair. Harry quietly sang him lullabies until he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Sad thing is..it didn't end there. 

Every time he came home to an empty house he couldn't take it. He would end up on Harry’s front step with pleading eyes. And every time this happened Harry would let him in. He couldn't ever say no to him. So it became their agreement, that if he needed him he could come over any time day or night and he was always welcome to stay. Harry knew this was a bad idea. He knew that one day his feelings would get the best of him and he wouldn't be able to do it anymore. 

That night was tonight.

Harry’s heart had been cracking for weeks now but he thought he was strong enough to handle it. He was wrong. 

“ I can't do this anymore" he said. Zayn sat up abruptly looking at him.

“Do what?" He asked, fear reaching his eyes. 

"This Zayn," he motioned to him still in his bed stroking his hair, "it's too much for me now. You're my best friend and I shouldn't feel about you how I do but we've crossed way too many lines as just friends and now those lines are blurring and so are my feelings and I just can't do this anymore." Harry was rambling now he knew it but he had to get it all out..he had to make him see how crazy this was. 

"But what am I gonna do if I can't come here when she's off screwing other men. You know I can't leave her...I love her." Harry could see the tears welling in his eyes at just the thought of him rejecting Zayn. Harry had to be strong though. Zayn couldn't see how THIS was hurting Harry. 

"You need to talk to her. Her cheating on you is wrong. I think I've been fair enough these past 7 months letting you find refuge at my place but this couldn't go on forever," he rolled away from him and sat up, his back now facing him, "you need to leave." Harry could hear the shuffling of feet as he had climbed out of his bed and was redressing himself. Fresh tears started falling down Harry’s face as he could hear him walking towards the door. Before Zayn left Harry heard a quiet "I'm sorry" spill from his lips but he didn't dare look at him for fear that he would change his mind. 

After hearing his front door slam he cursed loudly and let the tears fall more freely. His sobs grew louder as he realized he probably just lost his best friend....


	2. A Little Bit Stronger..or not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Harry didn’t know what to do. Today had started out like any other day. He went for a morning workout, came home showered and made breakfast then he left for work.  After work he would go sit in the park for an hour and reflect on life. He would write things down in his journal that he thought were important to remember. Things like:

- _I’ve been given a promotion at work._

- _I didn’t cry last night._

_-It’s been three whole months and I’m doing okay._

He had to remind himself that life goes on and while it really wasn’t the same without Zayn, he would be okay. He could move on from him. Or at least that’s what he thought. On this particular day when Harry returned home from work there was a package waiting for him on his doorstep. He couldn’t remember ordering anything; his mom and sister didn’t mention sending anything so he was really curious where it could have come from. Picking up the box he went inside his home dropping his keys on the table by the door. He was greeted by his new feline friend Savy who purred and rubbed her body against his legs. He leaned down stroking her fur for a moment before heading to the living room to open the box.

On the top of the box was simply his name: Harry, in big blue letters. There was no return address so he knew someone had to have personally dropped it off. Opening the box he found a letter, deciding to check the box further before he read it he started to dig through the tissue paper. At the bottom of the box was a blue ball of yarn and a beautiful glittery silver collar with Savys named etched into it in blues letters. Seeing the gift made Harry even more curious since the only people who knew he had gotten a cat were Louis, Cher, his mum and his sister Gemma. He couldn’t remember telling anyone else.

Savy jumped into his lap clawing at the ball of yarn. Harry removed her old brown collar and replaced it with the new beautiful one. He then tossed the ball of yarn to the floor for her to play with. Curiosity getting the best of him Harry grabbed the letter and sat back ready to find out who his mystery gifter was.

_Harry,_

_It’s been a few months since the last time I saw you. I miss you. I hope your new cat likes the collar and the ball of yarn. I heard through Liam you just got her. That would be like you though aye. A cat seems to suit you. I hope you have been well. I’ve been thinking about everything that happened and it wasn’t right for me to keep running to you when Perrie was out cheating. I should have fought for her sooner and maybe we’d be where we are now. We’re in a much better place. She stopped cheating and we spend so much time together. I’m sorry I didn’t realize your feelings for me sooner. I know it must have hurt you and trust me that’s the last thing I wanted to do to my best friend._

_My birthday is coming up next month and we decided to have a special party at the house. Everyone will be there and I was hoping you would come to. It’ll start around 8ish. I really hope to see you there._

_I’d like to mend our friendship. Maybe we could meet up for a spot of tea at that little café you love so much. Numbers still the same, let me know._

_See you around Mate._

_XOXO,_

_Zayn_

For a moment Harry didn’t think he could breathe. He dropped the letter to the floor as fresh tears flew from his eyes. This was just like Zayn. To not think how a letter like this and the gift for his cat would really affect Harry. Not being able to move Harry just sat there for what felt like hours (in reality it had been about 20 minutes). Deciding he couldn’t do it, he needed Louis or Cher. Better yet he needed both Lou and Cher there right now to tell him it’s going to be okay, they had to tell him that he had every right to be furious (because he was). Who did Zayn think he was? How was it okay for him to send Harry this letter and tell him how great he and Perrie are doing? How great he is without Harry? And how DARE he invite Harry to his birthday party? How dare he invite Harry to tea? He wants to mend this friendship but he doesn’t realize Harrys feelings haven’t changed and he doubted they ever would.

Grabbing his phone out of his jacket pocket he sent a text to Louis and Cher:

_NEED YOU NOW!!!!_

_-H_

Not more than 30 seconds later he received a text from both of them saying they were on their way.

*

Barging straight through the door Louis made his way around Harry’s house until he found him slumped over on the sofa. He walked over and immediately embraced him. Whatever was wrong with him Louis knew it couldn’t be good.

“Shhh, hush those tears and tell old Lou here what’s wrong?” Louis asked. He continued to rock Harry back and forth until he could see that his shoulders had stopped shaking. A second later Cher came bursting through the door.  
  
“Okay who the hell do I need to kill. What happened to my poor little Harry?” She sat on the other side of Harry wrapping her arms around him. Deciding he could use some tea and tissues Louis headed to the kitchen while Cher continued to caress Harrys hair and whisper to him that it would all be okay.

Returning to the living room with three cups of tea and a box of tissues Louis placed himself back on Harry other side waiting for the explanation.

“I got a letter and a box in the mail today. It was from Zayn.” Cher and Louis both gasped at the same time. Harry had told them everything that had been happening those long 7 months. He told them about Perrie’s cheating and how Zayn would run to him for refuge. He also told them about his feelings. They didn’t judge him though, only listened and then helped him get through it.

“Well what was in the box?” Cher asked.

“A ball of yarn and new collar for Savy,” He pointed to the cat that was still on the floor pouncing around the yarn. Her new collar shimmered around her neck.

“And the letter?” Louis asked.

Harry picked the letter up off the floor and handed it to Louis to read. After reading it Louis face was beat red, he was furious. Passing the letter off to Cher Louis grabbed Harry’s hand. Cher then threw the letter to the ground.

“Well that bastard. I say you let me go over to his house and finally beat the crap out of him.”

“Cher darling calm down, I’m just as mad as you but what will that solve? Let’s just burn it down instead.” Louis asked.

“That’s good leave them homeless!”

Harry sat there in silence as his friends went back and forth. He kind of figured they would do this and to be honest he needed it. It was nice to here them plotting their revenge, it gave him something else to focus on for a few minutes.

  
“Well obviously you’re not going Harry. To his party or to meet him for tea,” Cher spoke with certainty. Harry looked at her with lost puppy dog eyes. He was hurt and confused. He didn’t want to see Zayn ever again in his life, but a part of him wanted to hear what he had to say. He needed to.

“You need closure Harry. I say you go. Make him apologize for real this time and then leave.” Louis interjected.

“You do deserve a real apology Harry,” Cher agreed. He knew that’s what he needed but could he handle seeing Zayn again.

“If you want Cher and I will go with you. We’ll be your body guards. If things get out of control we’ll whisk you out of there.” Harry thought about it. It would be nice to have them there for support and Zayn couldn’t take things too far with the both of them there giving him their deadliest ‘I’ll kill you’ looks.

“Okay yeah. If you guys will come with me,” he gave them his biggest puppy eyes.

“Course we will! And if things go bad, I can always kick him in the nuts!” Cher said with an enthusiastic kick to his pillow. Harry laughed for what felt like the first time in ages. He would be okay as long as he had Cher and Louis by his side.

In the back of his mind though was that one nagging thought, _could he really see Zayn and not give in to him, would that destroy all the hard work of trying to get over him?_


	3. I'm a Mess Without You....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back! Lol gonna revive this story now that I have time. I will try to add 2-3 times a week. Enjoy =)

To say Harry was nervous would be an understatement. He hadn’t seen Zayn in 3 months and now he was meeting him for tea at his favorite spot. He stood in the mirror looking at himself, trying to decide if he should really go through with it. There was a quiet knock on the door before it slowly opened. Cher stood in the doorway with her all-knowing look. 

“You know you don’t have to do this cupcake. If this is making you too nervous or you’re not up for we can cancel.” Harry sat down on the toilet seat and looked up at her. His green eyes glassy with fresh tears. 

“I need to hear him say it Cher, say that he used me, that our friendship obviously didn’t mean that much, that HE KNEW I loved him and he kept doing it, because he’s selfish. He didn’t stay that night. He just went home to her!! How could he do that?” He put his face in his hands and tried his hardest not to sob. If he was going to go through with this he didn’t want to have puffy red eyes. He still needed to look his best (even if Zayn didn’t care).

“It’s alright love,” Cher said from above him. He felt her hand caressing his back, “you deserve that apology and you will have me, Louis and Liam there for moral support. If it looks like he’s not going to admit to anything or give you your apology I will personally dumb my hot tea in his lap and we can leave.” Harry looked up at her with a small smile. She was always so reassuring.  
__________________________________________________  
Walking to the café with all his friends gave him that little boost he needed. He knew that if he had gone alone he would have chickened out 5 blocks ago. Before he could reach for the door handle he peeked inside the café window to see if he could spot Zayn. What he saw enraged him. There in a little corner table was Zayn alright, but he had brought HER with him. If he was going to give Harry an apology it should be just him there. Why the hell did she have to be there!?

“I can’t do it.” Harry spoke. He turned and looked at his friends and shook his head viciously. “He brought HER with him. I could face him but not her. I won’t do it.” Cher grabbed his arm and steered him away from the door. 

“And you don’t have to! That bastard should have known better. Let’s go Harry. We can pick up Chinese and a film and have a nice night at your house.” They were halfway down like block when Zayn came running after them. 

“Harry!! Harry!! Wait, damn it!!” Zayn shouted behind them. Louis, Cher and Liam all made a barrier around Harry keeping him behind them. 

“Harry has nothing to say to you, I don’t know what you were thinking bringing Perrie along to this meeting but you should have known better.” Louis said. Zayn dropped his head for a second exhaling a huge sigh. 

“Harry I’m sorry, she just wanted to tell you personally how much she changed. She wanted to thank you. I didn’t….I wasn’t thinking I’m sorry.” Harry turned his back to him for the second time ever. He didn’t need this apology or the apology for those 7 months. He needed Zayn’s toxic behavior out of his life. 

“No, you don’t get to do that and neither does she. You don’t get to shove your happy relationship in my face and thank me for any damn thing. I was there for you when she wasn’t. I put my own feelings aside because you needed me and THIS is how you act. You bring that..that…WOMAN to this meeting and think I was going to smile in your faces and congratulate you on being happy. NO! You don’t get to do this to me anymore!” Harry screamed before starting to walk. This time Zayn didn’t follow. He knew he had hurt Harry but he didn’t fathom how badly that was. He was ashamed of how he behaved, Harry was his best friend and he didn’t see how much he hurt him. He needed to figure out a way to apologize to Harry for real. To make sure Harry understands how much he really cares for him, and how much losing him is hurting Zayn too.  
_____________________________________   
Zayn had been having trouble sleeping lately. He had been tossing and turning and all he could think about was Harry. He slipped out of bed quietly careful not to wake Perrie. Once out of bed he slipped on a pair of joggers and a sweater. He quietly made his way downstairs grabbing his keys off the table. Outside Zayn walked the same path he had for 7 months to Harry’s house. The lights inside were turned off but he knew Harry was there. He paced out front for a few minutes before he knocked on the door. 

He heard shuffling feet as Harry made his way to the door. The door slowly opened and as the recognition dawned Harry he quickly went to shut the door. Zayn shoved his foot inside before Harry could get it shut all the way. 

“Please Harry. I know I don’t deserve for you to listen to me. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I need to apologize. You deserve that much. You were my best friend and I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn’t see what I was doing to you. Please just let me apologize to you.”  
The door didn’t budge for a few minutes and then Harry slowly opened up. 

“You don’t come in, you say what you have to say right there and then you leave.” Harry stood in the doorway with a very firm look on his face. He looked tired. Like he hadn’t been getting much sleep himself. He looked worn down. Zayn knew that was his fault. He felt the guilt seeping into his veins.

“Harry, I wish you would look at me.” Harry kept his gaze turned toward the rose bush next to his stairs. Zayn gave a heavy sigh before shaking his head. “Okay I get it. You can’t even stand to look at me. Trust me I can’t stand to look at me knowing what I did to you. You were my best friend and I was so selfish thinking only of myself. I saw. I mean not at first…I didn’t know at first. But a few months in I could see the looks, I could see the way your eyes would light up just a little when I would show up at your house. I should have known I needed to stop doing it, I should have stopped and let you down easily. I should have been a better friend..God I wish I would have been a better friend to you. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way and I wish I could take it back. I’m really truly sorry Harry.” Zayn looked at Harrys face for any sign that he would crack. He needed any little indication that Harry would forgive him, he needed him back in his life. 

Harry turned to Zayn with a cold distant look in his eyes. “Is that all?” He asked. Zayn was shocked. Harry had never been that cold to him but I guess hearing Zayn confess how selfish he really was would do that to him. 

He shook his head yes begging Harry with his eyes to talk to him, to wipe the tears and tell Zayn they could get through it. But he didn’t. Harry nodded his head and turned to go back inside. He turned and looked at Zayn one last time before closing the door. 

Zayn heard the lock click. He sank down to his knees and sobbed on his steps. He didn’t know how much more he needed to do to get Harry back but he would try anything. Slowly it dawned on him. He didn’t just go to Harry because he was his best friend. He went to Harry because he made him feel safe….loved. He knew what he had to do, but would Harry forgive him in the end? Would Harry take Zayn back?


End file.
